One Student Parent Shares the Impact of the Crisis

Lesley Del Rio | May 12, 2020 | Aspen Postsecondary Success for Parents

This op-ed by Lesley Del Rio, an Ascend Parent Advisor for the Aspen Postsecondary Success for Parents Initiative, was published on April 9, 2020 by Imaginable Futures, an Ascend Network Partner.

Life as we know it has been turned upside down. As a student parent, I am working on my associate degree while being a full-time mom, I knew my responsibilities were delicately balanced, but the recent disruptions to everyday life have shown me just how much instability threatens to topple everything.

As the days of sheltering in place have turned into weeks, I’m now facing months of managing how to work and learn from home while being a full-time mom. Strangely, it’s not the fear of getting sick or the challenges of transitioning my son to remote learning that’s causing me the most stress. It’s the uncertainty. Not knowing how long this will last, what is coming next, or if I am doing enough to prepare—these are the thoughts constantly running through my head.

In many ways, I’m one of the lucky ones. I am able to work from home and my school was online to begin with. My son’s school district began online learning this week. I’m grateful we are still healthy and live in a place where we can enjoy the outdoors. Even still, it has been incredibly difficult to adjust to the new reality and the last few weeks have meant searching for a new sense of balance in my life—shifting my priorities, setting new routines, and establishing new expectations for myself and my son. All while every day brings new questions and new uncertainty.

I know I’m not alone.

There are millions of student parents out there: nearly a quarter of all students who are enrolled in undergraduate are also parents. We are also some of the most impacted by these uncertain times, because we feel the effects on every level: not only are our kids home from school, childcare has been disrupted, the campus resources many of us relied on are less accessible, and we face uncertainty in our employment and economic instability. Even as one of the 25% of student parents who study exclusively online, I have observed the need for continued innovation and greater flexibility around how we all learn.

Largely, student parents exist in an education ecosystem that was not designed with our needs in mind. It’s an ecosystem that often overlooks us or leaves us behind, into which we must find ways to fit ourselves, rather than the system providing the flexibility and accommodations we need. Yet despite this, when we have the chance, we are thriving members of our postsecondary institutions, bringing invaluable perspectives and unique motivations to our classrooms, whether they are in-person or virtual.

The uncertainties we face right now are not necessarily new, but they have reflected, magnified, and exacerbated the barriers we face in our day-to-day lives. As we all come to terms with our new normal and look toward solutions to get us through, I carry with me the hope that we can come out of this situation with solutions that have longer term effects than just alleviating the stressors of the current moment.

If there was one thing I could have right now, more than anything, it would be certainty: to know when this current crisis will end, so I am able to make plans for the meantime, work toward them, and maintain stability in my and my son’s life.

In the absence of this impossibility, I want educational institutions, organizations, businesses and decision-makers to at least consider our voices as they adjust plans for today and the future. I know we can’t meet all needs for everyone, and there are no right or easy answers in the situation we face, but there is comfort, strength, and grace in respect. And the best solutions come about when a mix of voices are heard.

And this shouldn’t just be in times of crisis.

We deserve to have solutions that address the unique needs of student parents now, and solutions designed for us in the long-term. With the right support, student parents can reach our goals, rise, and create progress for our families and communities for generations to come. We deserve that chance—and that begins with hearing us.

Related Posts

Graphic featuring headshot photos of Dr. Deana Around Him, Julian Thompson, and David Croom.
What does college success look like for Black and Native student parents? This podcast episode sheds light on student parents’ and administrators’ experiences at Historically Black Colleges and Universities, or HBCUs, and Tribal Colleges and Universities, or TCUs.
Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsSeptember 12, 2023
Ascend at the Aspen Institute is excited to announce the launch of the 2023 Parent-Powered Solutions Fund, which will provide financial resources and technical assistance to nonprofit organizations and institutions focused on increasing postsecondary success among parents.
Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsJuly 20, 2023
A collection of different photos featuring Christian Ortiz, his daughter, and his mother
Reflections on the experiences, challenges, and joys that shape the life of student father and Ascend PSP Parent Advisor Christian Ortiz.
Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsJune 16, 2023
Cover of the digital chartbook, "We Are Here Too: Who Are the 1 Million Fathers in College?". A student father in a graduation cap and gown is seated with his son and daughter, smiling.
Among the one in five postsecondary students who are parents, there are close to 1.1 million student fathers. This chartbook synthesizes the available research on student fathers to help inform the field’s efforts to support the success of all student parents.
Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsJune 16, 2023
Cover of the digital chartbook, "We Are Here Too: Who Are the 1 Million Fathers in College?". A student father in a graduation cap and gown is seated with his son and daughter, smiling.
Today, Ascend at the Aspen Institute (Ascend) released the second season of “1 in 5,” its highly rated podcast that explores the multifaceted lives of the one in five college students raising children.
Press ReleasesJune 16, 2023
A photo of students and their children at Santa Fe Community College
On May 9, members of the Ascend team had the opportunity to visit Santa Fe Community College in New Mexico. Here are three takeaways from our site visit.
Ascend NetworkJune 14, 2023
In an Inside Higher Ed article, David Croom and Generation Hope provide important perspective into why the student parent population is important for higher education institutions to prioritize.
Media MentionsMay 9, 2023
Photo of student parent Waukecha Wilkerson with her family at her graduation ceremony.
Today, Ascend at the Aspen Institute (Ascend) released the second season of “1 in 5,” its highly rated podcast that explores the multifaceted lives of the one in five college students raising children.
Press ReleasesMay 3, 2023
Photo of Isis Patterson and her family
Growing up, Isis Patterson and her family were constantly operating in survival mode. School offered her the safety and security she lacked at home, so she took a liking to it. When she found out she was pregnant at 15, she kept herself immersed in her schoolwork, graduated with honors, and received a full-ride scholarship …

‘1 in 5’ Season 2 Episode 10: Meet Isis Patterson Read More »

Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsApril 25, 2023
1 in 5 Student Parent Podcast
As a child of immigrants, Lourdes saw the efforts her hard-working parents made to give her a memorable childhood, and how they always stressed the importance of education. Then, in high school, Lourdes became pregnant and the birth of her daughter inspired her aspirations for higher education, leading her to a career in nursing. As …

‘1 in 5’ Season 2 Episode 9: Meet Lourdes Read More »

Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsApril 17, 2023
Photo of Nicole Alkire Grady with her family in a park.
Nicole Alkire Grady always excelled in athletics and academics at Standing Rock High School in North Dakota. But being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse meant Nicole turned to dating, and eventually alcohol, to cope with the trauma. In high school, she became a mother and worked hard to graduate – leaning on the support …

‘1 in 5’ Season 2 Episode 8: Meet Nicole Alkire Grady Read More »

Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsApril 4, 2023
Photo of Generation Hope's Nicole Lynn Lewis with her five children
Today, Nicole Lynn Lewis is an accomplished author, CEO of Generation Hope, and mother of five. But she didn’t always feel a sense of stability and pride. When she arrived on campus with her three-month old daughter, she instantly felt out of place and didn’t know who to turn to for help. Her feelings of …

‘1 in 5’ Season 2 Episode 7: Learn About Generation Hope Read More »

Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsMarch 28, 2023
Today, Ascend at the Aspen Institute (Ascend) released the second season of “1 in 5,” its highly rated podcast that explores the multifaceted lives of the one in five college students raising children.
Press ReleasesMarch 20, 2023
Dominique Baker and her family.
Dominique Baker married her high school sweetheart and planned to pursue a degree in social work, but her first semester in college proved to be both financially and mentally exhausting. As her family grew and Dominique took stock of the things she wanted for herself and her two children, she made the decision to leave …

‘1 in 5’ Season 2 Episode 6: Meet Dominique Baker Read More »

Aspen Postsecondary Success for ParentsMarch 19, 2023
Today, Ascend at the Aspen Institute announced that eight Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) and Tribal Colleges and Universities (TCUs) have joined its Black and Native Family Futures Fund.
Press ReleasesDecember 13, 2022